Etowah Oddyssey from Hometown Tales by Carson Colenbaugh

I took a trip to Allatoona
Went down the gravel and I kicked up dust
My horse had to stop so I fed her some slop
And said, “Take your time, but only if you must”

Well up comes this doctor, his name was Proctor
I said, “Doc, buddy! How might I be of use?”
He said, “I’m goin on a trip and you seem pretty hip
and I need someone who likes bass and cuttin loose.”

I said I ain't much for fishing, but I sure do like kissin
He said, “Son we may have a problem there
See there won’t be no women, but we may go swimming
If we catch a big one that pulls you out your chair”

So we got to the river and set out on the water
And paddled all over the world
There was trees and fleas and I think I saw a deer
But I never ever found me a girl

So I sang row, row Lady Godiva
Get to me, I’ll serve you well
You won't feel remorse if you get down off of your horse
Cus I got a story or two I’d like to tell

I was disappointed, pontifically anointed
That second part ain’t true, I just felt bad
See there weren't no ladies and temps were in the eighties
And mosquitos sucked out all the life I had

Well we got off the boats and stomped into the mud
We were sweatin and the birds were talkin cheap
They chirped, “Hey little mister, you’ll never get to kiss her
I said, “Kiss who?” and they said, “Shut your beak”


So I sang row, row Lady Godiva
Get to me, I’ll serve you well
You won't feel remorse if you get down off of your horse
Cus I got a story or two I’d like to tell

Well all of a sudden he snags on to somethin
He says, “Grab that net and hold on to your ass!”
I say, “Maybe it's a striper” he said, “Shut your little piper
I'm holding on to the Charlemagne of bass”

Well what happened next, I’d rather not reflect
The monster pulled him in and he disappeared
So I rode back on my stallion, no medal, no medallion
And ordered a cerveza—that's a beer

Well this lady in the bar looks down and sees my scar
She says, “Baby, do you got any fisherman's tales”
I said, “I got a few and I'd like to hear yours too”
She said, “Honey let's go home” and we set sail

So I sang row, row Lady Godiva
Get to me, I’ll serve you well
You won't feel remorse if you get down off of your horse
Cus I got a story or two I’d like to tell

• Appalachia
• Folk
• banjo
• pete seeger
• poetry
• traditional folk
• Kennesaw