Mental Sky from Teratogenesis by Cataldo Cappiello

Third single taken from the "Teratogenesis" album, out in 2019.

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What if my body didn't feel pain?

I've had this kind of thought for a while now, digging unceasingly in my brain, like a woodworm.

Physical pain is a way the human body naturally figured out in order to escape dangerous situations.

I'm minding my own business, and suddenly physical pain warns me that something or somebody is doing me harm, and I should definitely avoid whatever the source of the stimuli is.

So, what if someday I just accidentally cut myself with a razor, just to discover that my body is no longer capable of sending painful signals to the brain?

Well, I suppose that, in such a case, the most obvious and intelligent thing to do would be to lock myself in a room full of pillows, and to stay there forever.

Lowering as much as possible any chance of getting hurt without my brain noticing. Yes, this is it.

...Anyway, the thing is, this plan is as far as it could ever be from the way I would actually react to such a scenario.

After finding a suitably sharp and accurate blade, I would sink it between my collarbones, and draw a straight, thin line down to my groin.

I shall finally offer the blessing of daylight to every part of me which has only ever known darkness.

What has never been exposed to whatever kind of light doesn't theoretically have a colour yet, right? I think that's sad and unfair, and needs to be changed.

I would watch all of myself slither out of myself, and that would be the beginning of one of the purest yet most perverted kinds of bliss.

Our educational system celebrates our body as an almost perfect machine, astonishing in beauty and complexity.
Yet, decaying and crumbling down to pieces is what our flesh loves doing for the majority of its life span.

It reaches its peak performance, euphorically dances while spreading its fluids all over the place, and then immediately starts dying, and malfunctioning, in an overly painful process that takes ages to complete in awful despair.

A fair plane of existence would not allow that. After completing its mission, it should just shut down in a white lake of euphoria.

Flow, red river, flow! Let me see how much life is left in me! Fill my eyes with pride, quench the hunger of my senses!

I once found a photo of an isolated brain, still connected to its nervous system, patiently preserved in all of its thinnest and tiniest branches.

The description of the photo was "This is us".

How that sight unsettled me is beyond words. We are but a slimy alien placed in a prison of flesh. Now I want to see that alien.

I would go through the same process of accurate, thorough deliverance on my own remains. I'd choose my left arm, so I would be able to compare it to the other one while working.

I yearn to experiment how it really feels out of here, I want to imbue my conscience into the most ridiculous, ultimate feeling of freedom.

I already imagine the moment when I would get rid of whatever else I still contain in order to be lighter and to move more freely, only to sit at my desk, turn the lamp on, and start working.

I'd just continue exploring and disrespecting my earthly curse until I'd eventually shut down, peacefully, while feeling ultimately naked, free of the deepest constraints that my nature imposed to myself since the very first moment.

I would become a wreck...

And nothing would have changed anyway.

I often have dreams at night so vivid that I transform my memories of them into music.

I like painting soundscapes by overlapping layers of sound.

Music is the only magic on Earth that can allow you to see what I see.

My other project -
https://caelestis.bandcamp.com/