Neon Shadows by FESSA

Two months ago, depression hit me hard again. My pills didn't work, I spent whole days in bed or on the couch, without energy, full of pain, empty of emotion. But, in the few moments of respite, I wrote five deeply personal songs.
These songs reflect my struggle with depression and borderline personality disorder.

It is ironic how those who "know" me often find it hard to believe that I struggle with depression. They see me as a radiant and cheerful individual, unaware of the emptiness that consumes me inside.

Music is my therapy. When I am on stage, with my songs, the energy of the people, I am myself, I don't wear masks that weigh like boulders,I feel happy. I know other people are in similar situations, fighting their battles in silence. They too are adept at masking their pain, their voice is muffled by the weight of their battles. It is for them, as for me, that I sing these songs. To offer comfort to those who feel alone. You are not alone.

Let's destigmatize mental health together!



Special thanks go to my psychologist Dr. Ms. Schiller-Kanior, my psychiatrist, my ergo therapist, and my partner for their support.


Written, recorded, mixed and mastered by me, myself, and the other me.

FESSA is a solo DIY synth project.
Born in Berlin during the lockdown, FESSA blends 80s bass loops, dirty guitars, and feminist rage.
No love songs. No apologies.
Just DIY, distorted beats, political fire — and a lifelong fight with anxiety, borderline disorder, mental darkness, and the silence around mental health.
This is FESSA. Loud and raw. Screaming so you don’t have to.

Facebook