Cold Shoulder from Sandpaper by Happy Tooth x Ben Collins

I'm heading back home.
This is a bad poem.
Buried since the last snow.
Depression like a black hole. x2

Woke up stressed to see my breath
in the middle of the night.
When being more alive gets normalized
I'll die and be immortalized
by the picking of my fights
and borderlines.
I want a smoother future
by any means necessary.
Most people are sedentary,
life's temporary,
ending in cemeteries.
Then I'm glaring,
or waxing philosophical.
When you're broke
or broken
paying half the bill
is logical.
I wanna stop it all.
I wanna stop.
When I was younger
I would stay out longer in the cold.
I lost that hunger in the
monsters I pulled from my soul.
I wanna be cold again.
Take a deep breath,
hold it in.
Only a wound or a gun
know where a bullet's been.
And I'm hypothermia.
They would die to murder ya.
Eating me recently
this pain in my stomach
like a hernia.
My skin won't heal itself.
Sensations are real as hell.
I wanna freeze time
until I'm really feeling well.
I don't wanna live near powerlines.
I think we're about to die.
Found the time to breath deeper
and now my blood is alkalized.
Then I end up uncomfortable.
Bloody at the laundromat.
Thought I was feeling fine
and then my misfortune brought it back.

I no longer run from it.
I'm one with it.
Becoming it.
No one can be as numb as this.
And I don't wanna quit. x4

(Ben Collins)

I've got faith that I value,
my attitude was demented.
Cracked mirrors from my ugliness.
Summoned by your perfection.
Earth will resemble Heaven.
Got sick of bein offensive.
Pleadin from my addictions
and always feelin so fed up.
Pent up aggression was killin me.
Traded all my sins for peace.
Forgiveness lets me feel complete.
I'm singin with this symphony.
So healing from me spiritually.
When I speak about what I see.
Experience reality.
Grateful that I can found some peace.
Thoughts are movin mountains.
Got used to doubtin myself in you.
Had to move past all the shoutin fits.
Denial was my noose.
Grew comfortable with numb
until it cut me up
and left me through
in a puddle of "what-to-dos."
Only due to mercy true.

• Hip-Hop/Rap
• Independent hip-hop
• Columbus