Risking Illness by Ian Wayne

I believe that these songs should be untied from my purpose in writing them. I think the pain we’re trying to escape boomerangs back no matter how hard we throw it. I think love can make us blind to our loneliness. Other times, in our loneliness, we miss one another by inches. I believe this will be true for all of us, in some respect, at least once. There is a stark difference, I think, between the loss of a person’s life and the grief that accompanies it. Life ends. There is the moment when they are gone -- that tangible thing. Grief though, has no such threshold. It is mysterious, tidal, elusive in its absence and presence. I believe that, in this way, grief is like love: we grasp for signs of it. The pressing need to shield ourselves and our loved ones from harm washes up downstream from a shattering loss. In the fog of my own grief, it occured to me that simply being alive makes us vulnerable to death. Harm may find us anywhere. I came to feel brave, then, for choosing to live despite the risk of illness. And now I believe that these songs should be untied from my purpose in writing them.