Christmas Omniscience by Lumpp
Are you ready for the most wonderful time of the year? And no, I don't mean the release of Downsizing, a top contender for the horniest film of the year, which "happened" to come out on the same day as this album. It's time to deck your halls, jingle your bells, rest your merry gentlemen, ride a sleigh, wear something with green sleeves, wish your friends and family twelve (or ten) merry days in a row, and bring joy to the world! That's right, it's the ho-ho-holiday known as Christmas, or Chrimbus, or the #Marie of #Chiasmus, or Candlenights, or the Winter Solstice, Festivus, Hanukkah, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, and many more!
Join Doug, your personal guide to Christmas omniscience, as he sings and narrates his way through the month of December. He'll tell you incomprehensible jokes with no punchlines, give random inflection to his words that obscure their meaning, and maybe even share some of his sinister Christmas plans with you! What is Doug's deal, exactly? No one quite knows, but you may remember him from the song "Tannenbaum", off last year's "Christmas Omnipresence". And if you don't, well, now wouldn't be a bad time to revisit that album, because I made that one, too.
Tracklist
| 1. | Intro | 0:39 |
| 2. | Chringle Bell Rock | 3:12 |
| 3. | Wonderful | 2:08 |
| 4. | The Gentlemen | 4:20 |
| 5. | Decking Interlude | 1:16 |
| 6. | Deck My Limbs | 2:34 |
| 7. | Christmas Secret | 3:02 |
| 8. | Sledding Interlude | 0:43 |
| 9. | First Snowfall on the Hill | 3:40 |
| 10. | Riding the Sleigh | 3:48 |
| 11. | Secret Unwrapped | 3:12 |
| 12. | Days of Christmas | 4:44 |
| 13. | My Name Is... Interlude | 0:57 |
| 14. | Chris Mastree | 3:18 |
| 15. | We Wish You... an Interlude | 1:07 |
| 16. | A MIDIer Christmas | 2:41 |
| 17. | Green Sleeves Interlude | 0:44 |
| 18. | Greener Sleeves | 3:19 |
| 19. | Greenest Sleeves | 4:24 |
| 20. | A.M. Joy Interlude | 1:05 |
| 21. | P.M. Joy | 5:32 |
| 22. | Midnight Reruns | 1:48 |
| 23. | Twas the... Interlude | 0:52 |
| 24. | The Night Before | 2:32 |
| 25. | Christmas Presence | 3:01 |
| 26. | The Interlude Clause | 0:50 |
| 27. | Ch Ch Ch Christmas | 3:43 |
| 28. | Chringle Bells | 4:22 |
| 29. | Bells Interlude | 1:07 |
| 30. | Christmas Finale | 7:01 |
| 31. | Outro | 0:40 |
Credits
Credit goes to Joe Beal and Jim Boothe, Paul McCartney, the people of 16th to 19th century England, Thomas Oliphant, Leroy Anderson, Melchior Franck, WestNet (Westchester County's premier internet access point circa 1999), David Bowie, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Isaac Watts, Clement Clarke Moore, James Pierpont, George Michael, Robert Burns, and most importantly Gemmy Industries and the uncredited voice actor who unwittingly became Doug in this album.
Special thanks to the Barenaked Ladies, Mariah Carey and by extension Irving Berlin, and Bela Fleck and the Flecktones, by way of musical inspiration. And equally-special thanks to Tim Allen and the producers of the film The Santa Clause, Gregory Ruhe of Puppet Pizzazz, and Joy-Ann Reid of MSNBC, for a wide variety of non-musical inspiration.
