The Brink from Scambot 1 by Mike Keneally

XIV.

Ophunji pulls up to Scambot in a seriously slick futuristic seacraft. His voice blasts out of a bullhorn on the roof: “Get in, dipshit!”

Scambot explores his options:
a) drown
b) head for the surface of the water, now being
riddled with bullets
c) get inside the cool-looking futuristic seacraft.

c) it is, then.

A large tongue-like platform protrudes from the bottom of the craft; the slowly descending Scambot plops onto its center pillow. It pulls him inside.

An overflowing trash can in the cockpit smells like a bad margarita. Ophunji motions for Scambot to sit next to it. While driving way too fast and barely missing coral reefs and downed submarines, Ophunji brays over the sound of the engine:

Ophunji: You do any cocaine?

Scambot: No. I mean, what? Why? Who - have we met?

Ophunji: (shouting) It killed music in the ’70s, yes? Television also, and of course the cinema - good God. 1941? I will concede! Some marvelous sculptures were done! And there were, um...advances in the field of hair...styling...yes. But, ahmmm...good. Anyway. Good. I’m glad, Scambot - for I need you NOT...to do cocaine! We are on the brink of a tremendous, um, thing, and you must remain focused, like a boy, a baby one, with its Elmo crib-mobile dangling tantalizingly above him! Focus, is what we need! Can you hear me?

Scambot: You knew I’d go into the water. You were there to pick me up - I know I’ve seen you before. You arranged all this. What’s happening to me?

Ophunji: Oh, in due time...man, you’re tiresome.

Mike Keneally has been a lot of things in his 35 year career: stunt guitarist/keyboardist, singer/songwriter, orchestral composer, producer, music director, painter, and more. After getting his start in Frank Zappa’s legendary 1988 big band, Keneally released his first solo album hat. in 1992. Since then he has released dozens more and is working on a new double album.

Learn more at keneally.com