Saint from star, star by mingjia
Tracklist
| 5. | Saint | 11:00 |
Lyrics
santa maria, please don’t be mad
i’ve done some things i shouldn't have
it's not the first time i left dishes in the sink
or showed up to work smelling like last nights drinks
i forgot to pay the waitress & didn't turn around
& when asked for words of comfort i couldn't make a sound
i quit after 10 minutes of any slightly laborious task
& lied about last evening's plans when my mother asked
& i told him that i loved him when i shouldn’t have
& i know i shouldn’t go around chasing what i shouldn’t have
what i shouldn't have
your flames, though soft, scorches the moth beguiled by the light
ultra-violence! you & i dance wild in the night
your tunes, teeth, whistles, so artfully chisel
this fledgling’s wings some marrow, some gristle
to feed the tree that nests our altricial’s
to drown the soil that mothers our thistles
yet simple me still sings these god awful things
sacred, fox-tailed, you’re still tuning my rusted strings!
i’ll bet you do have wings
i’ll bet you do have wings
how else could you carry all these things?
for to take your being as fact
one might think me superstitious
this good has only ever been fictitious
but i have seen your arrows
its augured course slowly narrows
so still i say “raise the chalice”
i love you & i mean’t no malice
with every thread you sow my seams
with every way you make me feel
dreams are real, dreams are real
but don't belong in reality
hold my hand with your hand
we don't belong in reality
he claims to like the way i arrange my clothes all over the floor
& when i say i’m sorry he simply asks “what for?”
never is he angered when i practice while he naps
(& always saves me a bite of his curry chick pea wrap)
he calls his parents often & goes home when he can
he’s always early & doesn’t ever cancel on our plans
o, our plans...
saint, how lonely my unholy trinity!
though timid my prayer in it is there still divinity?
such sounds i found in the din of the crowd
seem to speak aloud:
“at what cost is divinity?”
a joke to him, a pome to me
could you still be proud of me?
soon the magpie will trumpet a sky shared by sun & moon
a brief allowance for both polarities to be true
for aren’t there more stars than the naked eye from here can see?
more truths than this thrusted upon me
the earth & the star are they best not collided
having destroyed cities & dinosaurs & i’m sure many other things?
albeit both made of dust & fire & light & life are they safer divided?
santa maria, your brilliant walls,
is there a place within?
sheltered by the clouds of seraphim
the infidels lay free of fear
& we are at home here
saint, witness me swinging my thurible
i’ve been acting awfully charitable
doling out my sighs & pouts
will you take this mouth so barely wearable?
weary but bearable, we’re face to face on a tightrope
does it get better? i hope!
cause i’ve been feeling terrible, terrible
kiss my face or pour me the veronal
esurient for a signal i climbed your spires
but the narthex is no perch for your broken lyre
or for searching the cure to your dizzying madness
so i threw my limbs up o’er the atmosphere
trying to make sense of what i’m doing here
are these shoes better stolen if they better fit your feet?
are these eyes better swollen for you’re still all i see
in everything i see?
santa maria, if you can know all i'm thinking of
santa maria, please deliver my inquiries to some god above
& with some small wave of your holy hand
perhaps you can help me finally understand
what to do about my love
