Goin' Vegetarian by Pablo McCrimmon

Goin' vegetarian
I don't want the deli meats you're carrying
Brag about how I’m a good samaritan
I am no barbarian
Chances of me slippin'? They are very slim
All that chicken tastes carrion

Pull up to the spot
Grocery shopping all around the clock
I ain’t talkin' bout the Kroger down the block
Man I’m talkin' bout Whole Foods
That’s a place I stroll through
Checkin out the veggie items feelin' like a soul dude
But your dude ain't lyin’
If I’m stuck at a Food Lion
And I’m looking for some stuff I’ll be buyin’
Well I hope it’s not a sample day
Cuz I’ll have nothing on my ample tray
All the food they’re selling has been trampled, slayed
Turn into the freezer aisle
Squintin' at the packages in geezer style
Bendin' down to reach one got my knees to tile
Meat-free foods are not worthwhile
Veggie patties, tofu links are extra vile
Get some lettuce call me Cleopatra I’m Caesar-phile
All the while people say I’m sick like leukemia
But I’m not ill, save anemia
People wanna see me bruh
I got all my go green power
Cuz I snort lines of protein powder

Goin' vegetarian
I don't want the deli meats you're carrying
Brag about how I’m a good samaritan
I am no barbarian
Chances of me slippin'? They are very slim
All that chicken tastes carrion

Headin to the party
Look so young the bouncer’s gotta card me
People ask me how my skin’s so darn clean
I don’t eat no lard, see?
Tellin’ all these stories like the Bard, B
Like the time I visited a farm, the
Trip that really scarred me
I saw all the sheep that became charred meat
As they’re dying I heard all their marred bleats
So I thought I’d guard meat
I sent out a hard tweet
Saying eating animals was as gross as some nard gleet
Once I finished that tale
Everyone around me just sat still
I pulled out a package of some fat kale
Then they start to chat they’ll
Be amazed when I look like Chris Pratt, frail
Pablo getting toned I ain’t a fat male
But I ain’t vegan
I been chugging milk since I began breathin'
All that lactose that I’m needin'
All that meat you’re eatin'
Animals are pleadin'
If you keep feastin'
Then your life is fleetin'

Goin' vegetarian
I don't want the deli meats you're carrying
Brag about how I’m a good samaritan
I am no barbarian
Chances of me slippin'? They are very slim
All that chicken tastes carrion

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