Big Funeral from Perfect Gentleman by Randy Kaplan

"Big Funeral" by Randy Kaplan

I heard you were Marie Antoinette for Halloween.
I guess yours was the prettiest head on the guillotine.
You told me when you left me
I'd always have a piece of your heart.
But tell me, don't we have to be buried
with our missing parts?

Hundreds of thousands of people are losing millions of pounds.
I was entering doom in the form of the Holland Tunnel when I found out
Moses on the mountain top said, "That land's not for me.
I'm gonna have to die right here.
Get me a notary.

I want a big funeral.
I want a big funeral.
I invite you all,
we'll have a ball,
then we'll let our terror fall."

I like it when the sportsman is trampled by the moose.
And I'm always for the elephant whenever he gets loose.
They said I shouldn't talk so I had to remove my belt
for what I condemn in them how can I accept in myself?

Hundreds of thousands of people are losing millions of pounds.
I was entering doom in the form of the Holland Tunnel when I found out
Jesus on the cross said, "This won't be enough
to get God to forgive them for everything they've done.

I'll have a big funeral.
I want a big funeral
with lots of tears and lended ears
and it's gonna have to last for years and years."

Not even Bernadette Peters can get me to buckle up.
Don't get me a fancy coffin when I flip my truck.
When I wake up in the next world
if there's any way to contact you I promise
I'll stay far away.

If I had a sabre-leg or a Hepplewhite chair
I would sit around all day
daydreaming and staring off into space.
I'd think of my face and I'd wonder how I'd look
when they laid me to rest.
Would you come be my guest?
Would you sign my In Memoriam book?

Hundreds of thousands of people are losing millions of pounds.
I was entering doom in the form of the Holland Tunnel when I found out
I don't want to be buried with my missing parts.
Just throw me a big funeral. You can hold it in your backyard.

I want a big funeral.
I want a big funeral.
I want my death to affect your life but don't let it ruin it.

• Blues
• blues
• country-blues
• ragtime
• story song
• Detroit