RAT BONES from Rat Evolution by Snapping Turtle

“EVEN IF EVOLUTION IS REAL, ANYONE CAPABLE OF LOOKING AROUND AND MAKING AN HONEST OBSERVATION CAN SEE THAT WE EVOLVED FROM RATS AND NOT APES.”
“WE EVOLVED FROM RATS? OK. I GOTTA HEAR THIS!”
“WE SHARE FEW BEHAVIORS WITH APES. WE DON'T LIVE IN TREES, FOR EXAMPLE. WE NEST ON THE GROUND. WE ARE NOT NATURALLY STATIONARY EITHER.”
“THAT'S A PRETTY BIG STRETCH.”
“OK.TAKE SCAVENGING, FOR EXAMPLE- AN APE DOESN'T SCAVENGE FOR FLESH BUT BOTH RATS AND HUMANS DO. HUMANS LITERALLY THRIVE ON THE GROUND UP PIECES OF DEAD ANIMALS. A RAT WILL ALSO EAT A DEAD ANIMAL.”
“PRIMATES WILL OCCASIONALLY EAT A DEAD ANIMAL TOO. SO I'M NOT REALLY CONVINCED. IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?”
“WELL, CAN AN APE LEAVE ITS CLIMATE? NO! THAT'S WHY AT THE ZOO THEY PUT THEM AWAY FOR THE NIGHT WHEN IT GETS COLD. YET, HUMANS HAVE SCATTERED ACROSS THE GLOBE, IN EVERY CLIMATE... INTENTIONALLY. AND GUESS WHICH ANIMAL CAME WITH US TO EVERY CONTINENT AND EVERY CLIMATE?”
“SO YOU THINK WE EVOLVED FROM RODENTS?”
“I COULD ONLY MAKE OBSERVATIONS BASED ON WHAT I'M SEEING.”
“WELL WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SCIENTIFIC THINKERS, RIGHT? BUT COME ON, HUMANS EVOLVED FROM RATS?”
“THINK ABOUT THIS- IF THEY WANT TO MAKE NEW MEDICINES FOR HUMANS WHO DO THEY TEST IT ON? LAB RATS! PROBABLY BECAUSE WE HAVE MORE IN COMMON GENETICALLY WITH RATS AND RODENTS THAN APES. AND THAT'S WHAT THEY DON'T WANT TO TELL US. THAT'S THE BIG CONSPIRACY. THE BIGGEST COVER-UP OF OUR TIMES. SCIENTISTS MESSED UP YEARS AGO AND RATHER THAN ADMIT THEY MADE A MISTAKE, THEY ARE HIDING THAT HUMANS CAME FROM THE RODENT FAMILY.”
“THERE ARE A LOT OF HUMANS THAT LOOK LIKE RATS.”
“THEY ARE THE RAT PROTOTYPES. WE EVEN HAVE ALL KINDS OF WORDS THAT COMPARE HUMANS TO RODENTS. LIKE SOMEBODY “RATTING” YOU OUT.”
“NOW THIS I GOT TO HEAR!”
“I MEAN, WE SHARE EVERY BEHAVIOR YOU CAN IMAGINE WITH RATS.”
“I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT THAT. IF WE NEED TO HAVE THE BASIC RULES OF APES WHIPPED INTO US BY PARENTS, EDUCATION, CULTURE, TV AND STUFF... HOW MUCH LIKE APES CAN WE REALLY BE?”
“WELL, NOBODY IS LISTENING SO I'M JUST GONNA SAY IT...”
“HOLY CRAP DUDE. RAT EVOLUTION WOULD EXPLAIN A LOT!”

• Spoken Word
• abstract
• art rock
• conceptual
• dark ambient
• smart rock
• United States