Three Times from Speak Boldly by Spencer LaJoye

“Three Times” is my personal favorite song on the album. It speaks most honestly about my relationship to Christianity, particularly as a leader and a minister. I spend a lot of time asking myself the question, “why, oh why, are you still serving Christian communities?” I’ve experienced spiritual abuse as an employee of pastors who were more concerned with serving the patriarchy and the status quo than they were about listening to the most minoritized and marginalized among their congregation (including me, their token queer leader); I have very little remaining belief in the literal doctrines of Christianity; I have grown more and more disillusioned by the racist and patriarchal origins of American Christianity. I am tired. So why, oh why, am I still here?
John 21:1-19 starts to answer that question, and it’s what this next song is about. I am Simon Peter. Jesus asks me three times if I love him. And I can come up with as many “yes, buts” as I want, but the simple answer to his simple question is: “yes.” Yes, I love you, so I will tend your sheep. Yes, I love you, so I will feed your lambs. Yes, I love you, so I will do the good work. Jesus doesn’t ask, “do you believe xyz…?” Jesus just asks, “do you love?” And if yes, then show up for the people. So this song is about saying “yes,” and showing up.

Spencer LaJoye is a singer/songwriter from the Midwest making queer indie folk music for everyone. The 2021 Kerrville Songwriting Competition and 2024 Songwriter Serenade winner spins crystalline vocals through a loop pedal while strumming an acoustic guitar in charming, banter-heavy performances that keep audiences laughing one moment and weeping the next.

spencerlajoye.com