Mudak Salad from Many Kettles by TANGERINECAT

I just ate a salad for dinner
The best one in the supermarket
It lured me away from the counter
But poisoned my gut in an instant
With layers of ripe plum tomatoes
And crispy bits hidden within it
All swimming in soft mayonnaise it's
A savoury sweet combination
So sick I was I thought I'd snuffed it
The last one that I'm ever eating
They say it's because I'm a target
A magnet for salads they're saying
The problem could well be my liver
The problem could well be my karma
If only I had been successful
If only I had been more healthy
If only I had been more noticed
Or maybe I have too much talent
Too brave and too honest & friendly
It's clear to be seen that the salad's
Foremost motivation was envy
Could it be the fact of the matter
That I was so sly and so cunning
In times of great woe and despondence
The salad was caught unsuspecting
And ruthlessly cruelly pursuing
A dish of both fame and importance
I swallowed it down without mercy
And suddenly salads all over
Stood up on behalf of their comrade
The dressing was finely concocted
The balance of flavours was fitting
But Rational doctor Sound Judgement
Whose thinking is frankly outstanding

Put forward his case oh so clearly
The salad had far too much mayo

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