Thank You by The Narcissist Cookbook

July 16th 2016:

I hit some financial troubles after losing my voice for three months and I urgently needed to have something to sell. I released this at short notice and in an emergency, and I called it Thank You because everyone who bought a copy of it helped me out of a severe rough patch.

I like what this is, but it also frustrates me. It isn't quite what the Narcissist Cookbook sounds like in my head. I don't know how much of this record would have ever been released if my circumstances had been different, you know? I'm worried that these tracks don't represent where I'm going with all of this, and that having it online will make it harder, rather than easier, for the things I'm making to find the right audience. Anxiety, anxiety.

I thought about deleting it, but that feels dishonest, and a special kind of self-obsessed, melodramatic defensiveness that I'm still learning to avoid, he says obliviously as he drafts an earnest letter to the world apologising for his art.

I'm not deleting it though, because I'm growing to kind of enjoy feeling like things aren't going according to plan.

Love,
Matt / TNC

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