Tragic Sidestory from Coaxial Chaos by Watabou
None of us are immune to failure. Whether that failure is brought on by overcommitment, unforeseen obstacle, competitive disadvantage, or any other number of circumstances, we have all experienced that sinking feeling of realization when the point of no return is made clear. Sometimes feeling like there is nothing left to lose is all the more reason to push forward, but continuation often results in further entanglement with no gain in clarity. When there is no exit, no alternative, and nowhere else to shift the consequence; how will you react to the damage you’ve sustained, and how will you make peace with the hurt that you’ve inflicted? The answer to these questions isn’t as straightforward as just pushing past obstacles, because trying to push past obstacles was what lead to this point in the first place. Reflection and recalculation are necessary, given, but the actions that follows are harder to appropriately enact. Plus, there will always be that “what if” resonating somewhere in the background that wants you to keep trying even though rationally you know it is a lost cause. Constantly reintegrating yourself into these battles without growth though will only perpetuate the failures you experience, though. None of this is easy, and not every outcome is rewarding. Sometimes the best outcome in a situation is simply to not further destroy yourself.
Tracklist
| 9. | Tragic Sidestory | 5:20 |
Lyrics
With energy spent I’m slowed down to a crawl
No way to give back, my reaction is dulled
Unpreparedness is making me visibly sick
And I rationalize being rash will assist
Dense and deflective, I strike at the core
Attacks ineffective and confidence torn
Condensed into chaos with vision obscured
Nobody to save me, I wish I had learned
To focus on the task at hand
I’m in a sea of endeavors and can hardly swim
The water’s always heavier than I remember
Than when I last was here
Caught off-guard, bereft of intuition
Blatantly jaded to abrupt motion
Opponents notice my open weakness and
Strike
Frustrated and fixed on absolution
Through wavering faith and self-suspicion
On track to collapse in the tragedy of this
Sidestory
Is this a failure of ego or is it the ego that brought me to this place
It’s hard to tell when I’m still so wrapped up my own daze
Running myself in the ground when I have already found this technique to just push me back
Instead I should be working on restoring what I lack
If that has overlap with anything else that my direction incessantly requires
Cuz if reproach and reclaim are a one-off then maybe I should sit and think about this one a while
Feeling the pressure because it’s still there
Wont leave me alone ’til I finally fall
The former outcome was so bleak, I’m aware
It couldn’t be broken or dented at all
These battles grow longer and block bigger paths
With longer engagements resulting from them and
As much as my let my identity hinge on this
Conflict can never define who I am
We all come to know these cruel defeats
With monstrous battles we perpetuate
Within our own lives and against ourselves
This kind of self-conflict creates our own hell
While moving straight forward is what it’s about
The significance obviously paramount
It’s also important to know when to leave
To let this live on as a tragic sidestory
At a million miles per hours, my continuation of this is something I regret
Looking for answers beyond what I’m capable of believing
Knowingly going against my own movements in desperate attempts to attack once again
Held at the whim of my manic emotions I strike and hope it hits
Hope it hits
This tragic sidestory gets more tragic
Faced with what I know was more that anything I’ve faced before
I rushed right in and nearly met an early end to this
It’s so important to know the difference between your conflicts as they stand in the moment
No reason to obsess over minimal contests that will benefit nothing besides your conscious desire
And in the same way focus on all the moments that really require
More attention than tasks that appear in your trajectory as minimal victories and eventually evoke
The viral interest that in turn will create these tragic sidestories
The viral interest that in turn will create these tragic sidestories
Credits
Rhythm guitar lines written with creative input from Chris Campbell
License
CC BY-NC-SA 3.0. See the Creative Commons website for details.
Watabou is the amalgamation of extensive electronic programming, punishing physical externalization, subconscious realization, and constructive manipulation of myself and my art. It is the peak of my artistic externalization and I hope you understand and enjoy it for what it is.