Drowning from Adolescence Anonymous by Zalea

ocked myself in my room
another day another sorrow
sleeping too much, pills knock me out until tomorrow
wake up in the darkness and Im drowning in my sadness

I wish I ran out of tears when I was 18
I wish I ran out of tears, I wish I faced all my fears, I wish things seemed more clear I wish I could see my reflection in the mirror
without crying
and I'm trying to reach out
but when I call, my friends aren't available to speak now
so I just take a number
and then I'll resume back to my slumber
but I don't even sleep I just nap
can't find enough peace of mind to let me rest
so I just close my eyes and lay my hands on my chest until I'm numb to the feeling, I just stare at the ceiling
sights too clouded with all my addictions and demons
And Im screaming in my mind but on the outside Im silent
Grumpy ass kid, who gets in a mood when she’s tired
Thats all they ever said and it’s all they’re gonna say
Got my prescription on lock, so I can stand another day

It’s hard though
puppet on display, top shelf front row
Trying to decipher the critiques and the low blows
wanna get myself out the gutter but Im froze
I wish I could return to the flowers and colour
living life through greys, can't tell the days from the other
smiling is exhausting, can't stand the fake happy
my cerebrals got me fucked up but no one even asks me
cause no ones got me like I got them
no ones ever fought for me like I fought for them but then again
no ones wants to talk to me honestly, fake conversation full of empty words and promises
tell me you miss me but never hit me up
won't ever see you again knowing my fucking luck
think of Dan often, man that shit was rough
trying to make it through the year, you know that it's been tough
using tokes to find some serendipity but it'll never be enough
you know it'll never be enough
but Imma still try
cause I like the high
and I'm still a sad kid but I don't know why
it's all situational, the pain used to be occasional
now it's like a mountain and I can't climb it
but I damn well know, there's a life of purpose behind it
and i'm gonna find it
highlight, cause Im shining
face full of makeup to try and feel confident
darken my eyes, I don't see anything wrong with it
but underneath all of it, I'm still just a poser at best
Delusional, hypocritical, introverted psycho
Who might go, insane from the pain, who’s to know?

Who’s to know, who’s to know?

Who know what my personal be like the best?
Who listen to me cry, bout how everyone I loved left
Who tells me pretty lies
who aint wish me no goodbyes
My modern day bestie, who on the daily just depress me
Every plan we have, is rescheduled till next week
But next week never come so I stay down
make some temporary friends to hang out with for now
but it's all so 17, plastic and paper
nothing's really real, friends vanish like vapor
and once I'm gone everyone gone be talkin bout how "now who could have saved her?”
Who coulda?

locked myself in my room
another day another sorrow
sleeping too much, pills knock me out until tomorrow
wake up in the darkness and Im drowning in my sadness

• Canadian artists
• Conscious Rap
• Hip-Hop/Rap
• new-artist
• rap
• underground hip-hop
• Victoria